You heard the news, right?
Donna got her ass arrested Tuesday night.
After work she went straight to the grocery store
and got into some argument with a tube-top-wearing whore.
Sorry, I guess “sex worker” is the more appropriate word.
Or maybe it’s not her profession at all—I’m just telling you what I heard.
From what I could gather, it all started over an expired coupon.
Donna was stuck behind said whore in line, hoping she’d get a move on.
Her foe told her to mind her own business.
She implied that Donna was fat, poorly dressed, and witless.
Donna says she’s not the type to escalate a situation,
so was almost surprised when she tore off the woman’s hair extensions.
The whore slapped Donna in the face, and the cashier shouted, “Whoa, whoa, whoa!”
Some old man gleefully called 911 and stood nearby to see the whole show.
Donna wasn’t allowed to leave until the police arrived on the scene.
She and the whore sulked in the security office, guarded by a manager named Maureen.
The police declared that Donna had committed assault and battery.
The whore fluttered her eyelashes at them, showering them with flattery.
I bailed Donna out. That was my only role in the whole affair.
What happened to the whore, I don’t know. Probably has some new hair.