Eva was only seventeen
and didn’t know what it was like
to have the shit kicked out of you
She had no bills other than a Spotify account.
Her world was studying for physics and history tests
and writing college application essays
and getting in trouble for texting during Econ
(like it fucking mattered)
and surreptitiously trying to watch Henry Weaver
practice free throws in the gym.
Eva had a part-time job
at a hot dog/burger joint in town.
She smelled like French fries at the end of her shift,
which was gross.
Her manager, Shayna, was a total bitch on wheels.
Like thirty years old or something with two kids
and still working this crap job and yelling at her all the time.
She was never fast enough for Shayna,
never correct enough for Shayna.
And it was, like, hot dogs, so could we all just relax?
There was one customer in particular
who was just the fucking worst.
Eva didn’t know his name,
just called him MORE MAYO
because no matter how many mayo packets you gave him,
he always demanded more.
And like, what did he even do with it all anyway?
Her favorite coworker, Tiffany, would gross her out
by describing the sex acts he probably practiced
using mayo as lube, and anyway…
the point is, this guy sucked.
One day, he came in, ordered, was given about a dozen mayo packets,
and he left, but then he came back in
when Eva was busy with other customers.
He actually interrupted her to say he didn’t have enough mayo,
and Eva had just had it,
and she asked him, “Why don’t you just buy a fucking jar, dude?”
And he stared at her in shock,
his mouth a little cheerio-sized O,
and of course Shayna heard this,
and she came tearing up to the front counter,
all apologies and mayo packets.
And Eva couldn’t believe that Shayna couldn’t just stick up for her for once
because everyone hated this guy,
But next thing Eva knew,
Shayna had grabbed her by the arm, actually grabbed her,
and was screaming in her face
about how she talked to the customers
and had no respect for anyone.
And Eva said, “Fuck you and the mayo dude.
I’m going places;
I don’t need this.”
She had a stupid hat that she had to wear
so she took this off and dramatically slammed it
on a metal counter
and walked out.
And she never set foot in there again.