Wednesday, September 26, 2018


Have you felt…tired lately?
(Boy, have I!)
Are you feeling less productive than normal?
Less creative than you used to be
in your carefree youth?
(Yes! And yes!)
Is your doctor bugging you about your weight?
(All the time!)
Is your cholesterol too high?
What about your blood sugar?  And your blood pressure?
(I’m a walking disaster!)
Tired of taking all those expensive pills?
(There must be another way!)
Are you tired of being the laughing stock
of your friends and colleagues?
(Wait, what?)
Ask your doctor about Platonique!
Be the best you that there can possibly be!
Side effects may include
sudden changes in mood and hairstyle,
dramatic ends to long careers,
ennui, glaucoma,
unexplained disappearances,
criminal tendencies,
interdimensional travel,
abandonment of your loved ones,
and a sudden interest in vintage British motorcycles.
Please contact your doctor immediately
if you experience stabbing pains in your abdomen
or spend an entire paycheck
on inexpensive drug store nail polishes.
Be the ideal you!

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