A Work Blessing

May you maintain an expression of alertness and interest

during an endless meeting.

May you accept a ludicrous, impossible demand with a cheery “Sure thing!”

and no sign of your exhausted anxiety.

May your cubicle neighbors eat quietly at their desks

and share giggling gossip somewhere else,

unless it’s really good gossip.

May you be absent the day someone comes around for monetary contributions

for someone’s goddamn wedding or baby;

you don’t even really know that person.

May the day that you forget your lunch be the day

when random free food shows up in the kitchen.

May company parties and social outings not involve any type of competition

or gym class sport.

May you have the power to stroll in late, take two-hour lunches, and sneak out early,

without being noticed,

all on the same day, if need be.

May you be granted flexible hours and work-at-home days,

thereby never setting foot in the office again.